Lori and Jane go Twilight
by SadieDeth
Summary: What happens when two twilighters get bored in their classes? Well, they take twilight, add zombies, mutant dog things, undead armies, and themselves. Welcome to our world. Chapter Two is the re-written version!
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is the brain child of my friend Janell and I. We got unbelievably bored in third block and, instead of doing work, did this. It's not great, but it was quite entertaining at the time. Enjoy. :D**_

_Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there stood a school. In this school, there was a classroom and in this classroom there were students. These students were eager to learn, so they could leave this God forsaken school, but others were determined to take control of the classroom. _

_The one who wanted to take control was an evil, sinister person named Lori, along with her evil friend Jane. Consumed by boredness, Lori decided to finally take over the classroom. She called her giant (evil) dog mutant thing to tear the roof off, and then evil cannibal ninjas swooped in and ate everyones faces off, Jane especially enjoyed watching Morgan, a loud mouth girl, get her face eaten off. Finally, Lori and Jane were left in control of the classroom! Now, they needed something else to do._

_That's when they decided, why stop at the classroom? "We should take over the city!" They cried in unison. Laughing in a sinister manner they made their way to the front office- ninjas and dog thing in tow. What they didnt' know was- Morgan wasn't dead, and she wanted revenge._

_Morgan's semi dead body picked itself up and began looking for its face, she found it and glued it back to where it had been previously, she then called forth an evil undead army and stalked off to find Lori and Jane._

_Meanwhile, Lori and Jane laughed sinisterly as they watched their ninjas and dog crushing up the rest of the school. Suddenly, Morgan walked up and they prepared to fight. An epic battle, evil vs. evil, dead vs. Lori's favorite things (cannibal ninjas) who would win?_

_Well, it was a gory scene- far too violent for children to read about. But, of course, Lori's favorite things won, how could they not? So, Jane and Lori laughed sinisterly on the way to town hall, ready to take on the mayor. They just didn't realize they forgot to banish the evil undead army back to the fiery pits of hades that they had come from- and they still wanted Morgan's revenge, oh my!_

_When Lori and Jane arrived at the mayor's place, they found that he was actually James- and evil vampire who also wanted to take over the world, using his evil new borns. So, they prepared to fight. But, suddenly, Morgan's army appeared and they were trapped. _

_Sadly, the next bit of the story was lost, due to Lori and Jane writing on loose leaf paper. Or, maybe it was burned in one of those epic battles they always seem to be getting into. But, basically... _

_Lori, Jane and James teamed up and destroyed the undead army. Lori and James fell in love. That's when they rest of the Twilight cast appears. _

_Now, on with the story..._

Later on in life, Lori and Jane were busy enjoying their new lives. Jane had fallen in love with Emmett (they were gonna get married!!) and absolutely adored Edward and Bella, she even loved watching after Nessie. 

Lori was now with Jasper, Alice had stolen James away from her, so Lori and Jane didn't live far apart. One day, during this new life, a person named Mallar jumps out of the woods. 

Lori, being a vampire, wasn't particularly worried. She just smiled and cuddled up to Jasper-but she was thinking of James. Darn Alice for stealing him. She wanted him back, she loved Jasper, but she was in love with James. 

Meanwhile, Mallar, who was very disappointed made her way to Jane- who was human, as well as alone with Edward, doing things they shouldn't be- he was married after all. 

Jane screamed as Mallar walked in on a very intimate moment between herself and Edward. Quickly, Edward jumped up to defend her, hitting Mallar so hard that she was knocked into the next century (literally). All the noise caused Emmett and Bella to head upstairs and investigate...

Lori looked into Jasper's eyes, she was sure she looked guilty because she knew her love for James was greater than her love for Jasper. Finally, she whispered she was sorry and ran off to find James and win him back from that no good fortune teller. 

Jasper blinked, and she was gone- the love of his life. He loved her more than Alice, but it seemed she didn't return the feeling. Darn the cruel Gods who rule over love. That's when he decided to take things into his own hands and he headed into the woods after Lori. 

Meanwhile, Emmett and Bella had made their way up stairs... seeing Jane hiding under the sheets and Edward half naked- ooo you got some splainin' to do.

Lori could feel Jasper behind her, but she kept running. She had to win James back, she couldn't be evil without him. Finally, she came upon her true love and her greatest enemy. 

As Jane and Edward explained everything, Emmett and Bella stared at them in shock. They couldn't believe that the loves of their lives could do something like that. And while Jane and Edward apologized again and again and were forgiven, they couldn't get over the hurt in the eyes of those they loved. 

Lori reached James and Alice and suddenly she wasn't sure she wanted to know if he still loved her, because she didn't think he did. For the first time in her evil existence, she was scared. Jasper suddenly appeared behind Lori, that's when he saw Alice and James, he had never seen them together and they way she looked at him caused him so much pain, if it were possible, he would be crying. 

"Jane, I love you." Emmett whispered into her ear as they made their way to the river. "Emmett... I love you too." She didn't mean it, but she didn't want to have to leave, not when she still had Edward.

"What are you doing here Lori?!" She wasn't sure what to say.. but she blurted out what she had come to find out, "James, I need to know if you still love me." James smiled, Alice gasped, and Jasper just stood there, looking as if he were in pain.

While Jane was walking through the woods she came upon Edward, face in his hands. She put a comforting arm around him and asked, "what's on your mind?" 

He told her that Bella still loved him and had given him a choice, her or Jane. 

He wasn't sure who to choose. 

"Yes, I still love you Lori." Smiling, she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. That's when Alice grabbed Jasper's arm and ran off to warn everyone. 

"You met Bella first, she gave up everything to be with you. She deserves you, I don't. Besides, you're married with a kid.." Edward stood up, "You're right." 

Just then, Alice and Jasper ran up, "James and Lori are together... which means everyone is in danger." Hearing the news, they ran to the house to tell everyone else. 

"I'm thinking we should take over Italy..." James said as they made a meal of Mike Newton. "Sounds like a plan to me, I'm just glad we're together again." 

All of the Cullens and Jane saw what was happening, but decided that Mike wasn't worth an epic battle. So, when Lori and James were done they asked them politely to leave their territory. They agreed, they were heading to Italy soon anyway...

THE END! 


	2. Chapter 2

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there stood a school. In this school there was a classroom, and in this classroom there were students. Some of these students were eager to complete worksheet after worksheet, and never actually learning anything. However, some of the students couldn't care less about the worksheets and wanted nothing more than to have a good time… and maybe take over the classroom so that they could do whatever they wanted. After all, if you rule the classroom, you rule the children in the classroom. And when your greatest enemy is in said classroom…. Let's just say it would be great fun.

The two girls who wanted to take over the classroom were two sinister girls by the names of Lori and Jane. The former was more evil than the latter, but that's not important right now. What's important is that together, they had the power to summon creatures that could make grown men cower.

So, they decided that they would summon their favorite creature, a giant dog that liked to rip the faces off of it's victims. Of course, the girls didn't really want to kill everyone, but it's rather hard to control the beast, so they just let it do what it wanted. However, they did particularly enjoy it when he tore off the face of their arch nemesis, Morgan.

When their dog was finished with the classroom and they were thoroughly in charge of it, they became bored again. That's when they decided that they shouldn't just stop at the classroom, they should take over the whole city!

So, they left the classroom and began to head for the town hall, because that's where one goes when they want to take over a town. However, they left in such a hurry that they didn't realize that Morgan wasn't quite dead yet…

She, being the evil over talkative she-beast the she is, summoned an evil army of undead zombie things that were also vampires. She told the army to chase after Lori and Jane, and began to pick her face up off the floor so that she could follow.

When Morgan finally found Lori and Jane outside the Main Office, she realized that her army hadn't quite made it that far yet, those slow moving undead zombie things that are also vampires just weren't cut out for navigating such a large school, especially when at the best of times they could only take a few steps per minute.

"Lori and Jane! I will kill you for what you did to me!" Morgan cried as she flung herself at the girls, apparently forgetting that they still had their giant dog summoned to protect them. He lunged at Morgan and swallowed her whole.

Satisfied that they had successfully squashed out the only person who dared resist their reign, Lori and Jane left the school and began the short walk to the Town Hall, it was conveniently right across the street.

When they reached the Hall, they realized that the mayor was none other than James, an evil vampire who wanted to take over the town (and perhaps a few surrounding cities) with his army of newborn vampires. Also, this lady with red hair named Victoria was there, but as soon as Lori realized that she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life being absolutely evil with this man, Victoria met a tragic end.

Anyway, Lori, Jane, and James decided to team up to take over the town. However, just as they were about to launch their attack, Morgan's army of undead zombie things there are also vampires reached Town Hall and began to attack the newly formed alliance.

The battle was gory and filled with so much violence that it couldn't be put into words, but it involved James' newborns destroying the zombie things that were also vampires and Lori, Jane, and James celebrating their victory by spending the rest of the day destroying their least favorite bits of the town that they had take over moments after they had destroyed the army that was meant to destroy them.

A year after they successfully took over their home town, Lori, Jane, and James all decided to move to a town in Washington called Forks. Apparently, it was always raining there and so James and the newly changed Lori, would never be discovered as vampires due to their sparkling exterior.

While there, Jane fell madly in love with Emmett and was planning to marry him. However, she also fell rather hard for none other than Edward Cullen, who was married to that boring Bella. And they also had a kid… but she was always off with Jacob.

Lori, however, wasn't so happily in love. James had left her for Alice, and she couldn't for the life of her figure out why. Alice wasn't even evil for crying out loud! Anyway, soon after Alice stole the love of her life, Lori decided it was only fair that she began to see Jasper.

Alice wasn't fond of the two of them being together, but she knew it was for the best. The world simply wouldn't be able to handle it if Lori and James had stayed together, they were far too evil. They could have very easily taken over the world and Alice couldn't have let that happen. So, she pretended to love James and pretended that the fact that Jasper was falling in love with Lori wasn't bothering her.

On an unusually sunny day, Lori and Jasper were lying on a towel beside a creek that ran through the woods that they hunted in. (Lori wasn't fond of a vegetarian diet, but put up with it so that she could hang around the Cullens and keep an eye on James.) She was thinking about how she could steal James back when she came to the conclusion that she would just kill and Alice and everything would be alright. Really, how had she not thought of this earlier?

Jane, on the other hand, was enjoying some 'alone' time with Edward. They were together doing things they really shouldn't have been… seeing as how was married and she was due to be. They had counted on everyone being gone all day, but they had decided to return early. Emmett and Bella were walking through the door when they heard a noise from upstairs and decide to investigate…

Lori, having decided to kill Alice, leapt up from the towel and ran towards the clearing the Alice and James frequented on sunny days. When she arrived, she noticed that they had their backs facing her. She quickly took the opportunity to run up behind Alice and rip her head off.

"I love you, James. I miss you, I just want us to get back together so that we can take over the world like we planned!" Lori cried, falling to her knees next to James.

"So you killed her?" He asked.

"I thought it was the only way to get you back…" Lori replied, worried that she had just ruined her chances of getting him back.

"No one has ever killed someone to get me back… I love you too, Lori! I'm sorry that I ever thought that Alice was better than you. I was so very wrong!" He said as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately.

Jasper appeared and realized what had happened. He knew that them being back together would spell trouble for Forks as well as the rest of the world, so he ran off to tell the rest of the Cullens what had happened.

"They forgive us." Edward muttered, as he sat next to Jane in the living room of the Cullen home.

"I can't believe that…"

"I couldn't either, but they are. We should just forget we were ever together and go back to them."

Jane nodded in agreement, it wasn't like she could argue. If the Cullens abandoned her, she would have no place to go. Well, except for with Lori, but she was just too evil for Jane's taste these days.

Suddenly, Jasper burst through the door, "Lori and James are back together, the world is probably doomed. Oh, and also, Alice is dead." He said it so nonchalantly that it shocked everyone. (They were vampires, so they could hear what he said from all over the house.)

The Cullens decided to make a deal with Lori and James. They wouldn't interfere with their plans to take over the world if they would leave Forks out of it.

Lori and James agreed, mostly because they wanted Jane to stay safe.

On the way out of town they made a quick snack of that Mike kid who used to love Bella, and then left for Italy. I mean, if you're going to take over the world, why not start with one of the prettiest places with the best food?

The End.


End file.
